Once upon a time a beautiful princess became engaged to a grumpy bald frog. Somehow she was blinded by love and could not see that he was homely, had bad breath and IBS. The most important part is how treated her… like crap. She would tell her friends of the things her frog had said and done, and her friends all asked her, “Why do you put up with him?” and no matter how they objected, she would respond, “But I love him…” One day the frog slipped on his slimy stump and confessed to the princess that he only proposed to keep her on the hook a little longer. She was beside herself, she didn’t know what to do. Luckily her fairy godmother came to talk some sense into her, saying, “Is this the life you want? What will life be like if this continues, and what will it be like if you actually marry this slug? You are destined for so much more than this, and you know it. You need to LIVE THE LIFE YOU’VE IMAGINED. Life is too short to be anything but happy.”
Before becoming Granola Mom Failer I was a Fairy Godmother. The beautiful princess is one of my friends, and luckily, she did not marry the grumpy bald frog. I was not as eloquent back then and probably badgered her for days with that quote. I felt so strongly about it that it became my first (and favorite) tattoo and life motto. Upon further research, there is an extended quote from Henry David Thoreau:
Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams. Live the life You Have Imagined.
I had no idea how much that quote would mean to me, and how much it would keep showing up in different areas of my life. I share this with you because it is a reminder that if we can imagine something for ourselves, even if it is only a dream, if we can believe it, we can achieve it. The secret is to keep daydreaming.
The most lost I feel being a stay at home mom is when I don’t have any goals. When I was working one of my biggest goals was financial independence, which I think is so important for women to have. I would budget my paychecks and crush my financial goals to pay down my debt but still live comfortably. It was such a thrill to be in control. Alas, when you’re a stay at home mom, you don’t get a paycheck, and financial goals are harder to achieve when you have no income. I was lost. I had post partum depression, and I needed new goals and dreams.
I tried so many trends to bring happiness back into my life. I tried getting an MLM sales job, tried scheduling play dates, retail therapy (strongly NOT recommended), tried new diets, new exercise routines, new supplements and medications, new organizational techniques, volunteering at church, and focusing on the best housekeeping tactics. While all these things helped, the thing I was missing the most was having goals. So I re-imagined my life. I could run away and start from scratch (the easier option, though entirely impractical), or I could start creating my new life by building skills and focusing on what matters to me, and subtracting things that don’t. Besides family, here are things that matter to me that I want to share with you:
- Financial Independence & Frugality
- Simple Living
- Work Hard, Play Harder
- Motivation & Memes
Some of these things I have become an expert at over the years, while some of these things are works in progress.